Merry Christmas!

For anyone brave enough Click Here

Yes. It's me. I have talented and generous friends. LOL

What's Been Taken Apart At My House

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Any guesses as to what it is?


It is Hubster's Grandmother's K5A Kitchenaid Mixer! They don't build them like that anymore. M was spinning some frozen butter in there a number of years back and stripped out that little reddish looking gear in the photo. It's called a worm gear and with my supa Google skillz I found out how to tear it apart and order the parts to replace it! Kitchenaid will not service these old machines since they don't have the newer safety regulation stuff on them. It has all metal gearing, and the new machines don't unless you drop some serious change on the professional series, so it is worth hanging on to! After the parts get here, I may just tear apart the other one that I've been using and see what it's made out of! LOL I'll re-pack the gears in it for sure, and maybe between the two of them, I can put off my quest for finding a 10 or 20 quart mixer. Hubster had visions of school lunch ladies running through his head when I mentioned purchasing a mixer that would have to live in our garage. He's such a good sport.

What's Been Put Together At My House

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This is the cake I made for the Ward Christmas Party. So fun! The bottom is chocolate with raspberry filling, the middle is my famous Lemon Chiffon with lemon filling and the top is Hubs favorite, banana with allspice cream cheese filling. And it's all topped off with my absolutely divine butter cream frosting. MMMMMMM. If you look close, you'll see that the candies are covered with coarse sugar and there is a light skift of sugar "snow" on the cake as well. So pretty and such a nice change from flowers and fruit! We had about 190 guests and had plenty to go around!

My Brothers Are In Space

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The AB Song

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Tell Me About It

While preparing dinner last night, K was helping and chatting with me. She said, "Mom, you know how sometimes things fall down even when you didn't touch them or anything?" "Well, I know why," she said. And in a somewhat hushed, conspiritorial tone, she told me, "It's because the world is spinning."

I was taken aback by this little reminder.

Despite my best efforts, there seem to be a whole lot of things in my life that fall down.

I'm glad to be able to remember today that these things do not happen entirely due to my own faults and weaknesses, some of them happen just because the world is spinning.

Too Soon?

B, like most 8-something kids, is doing his best to convince me that "ain't" is, in fact, a word and its use is seriously too cool. I am very well aware of the fact that Webster's does now include "ain't" as a word, and "Ain't ain't a word so don't use it" doesn't really have a whole lotta credibility anymore. But, as his teacher, not to mention the person most likely to depend on his ability to someday sound intelligent enough to obtain gainful employment, I am doing my best to convince him that "ain't" belongs on the list of words that we just don't use in this family. The debate has raged for several weeks. So tonight he says, "Hey mom! Listen!" *singing* (cause he sings a.lot., like enough to worry his father) "Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I AIN'T the sharpest tool in the she-ed....See, it IS a WORD!"

Wonder if it's too soon to teach him about satire and derision. LOL

Since It's Been a Month and All

Better post.
And since my mood is not funny-post conducive, was tagged back in September(!!!!!) by the lovely Miss Brandi so I'll play along in the interest of posting something of some kind of substance.

4 Jobs I've had:

*A Bookkeeper
*A Shoe Sales Clerk
*A Telemarketer
*A Ford Salesperson

4 Places I've lived

*Wyoming
*Texas
*That's all I got!


4 Favorite TV shows (currently on TV)

* Grey's Anatomy
* Desperate Housewives
* America's Top Model (re-runs)
* Flip This House

4 Places I've been on a Vacation

* Disney World
* San Francisco
* Arizona
* South Dakota

4 Movies I could watch over and over

* Harry Potter Movies
* A Knight's Tale
* Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
* National Treasure (Did you see there's going to be a new one soon?!)


4 Favorite Dishes

* Amish Chicken
* Funeral Potatoes
* Fish Tacos
* Pho or really just anything Thai.

4 Websites I visit

* The College (duh)
* Shade
* E bay
* Finetune

4 places I'd like to be

* in a completely organized and clean house
* on a plane to somewhere...anywhere
* On a boat to somewhere...anywhere
* On a bus to...well, I guess I'm not *that* desperate...

4 People I'm tagging

All four of my lovely readers. LOL

Let me know when you've posted your info, I read stuff, I've just been too lazy to post lately. LOL

What She Does When She Waits

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Waiting for B and K during their home school gymnastics classes. Two hours every Thursday of sit and wait fun. Oh. Boy. LOL

Save the Pork Roast!

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If you haven't watched The Wonder Pets, well, you just haven't lived. And you will also be unable to understand approximately 3/4 of what J is talking about these days.

So I was cutting the net off my pork roast this afternoon, and J was up on the counter watching. Pretty soon she says, "Mommy! What dat?"
"It's dinner.", I replied.
"No, what dat on it? What you cutt-inguh"
"It's some stretchy net they use to hold it together."
*GASP* *imagine the voice raising by an interval of approximately 4 octaves*
"Ohhhh, it stuck? Mommy, you hewlp it? You hewlp dat baby.....what dat ting?
"The roast?"
"Duh woast? You hewlp dat baby woast and sabe duh day?"

"Ummmmm, yeah, something like that......."

Where I Once Again Profess My Love of the Internet

I love e-bay. My dad sent me this link and I nearly died laughing. Mostly cause I totally feel like that, in fact, if I had not been so worn out and were more creative, I would have totally blogged something like that while I was visiting my folks a couple weeks back. I guess C-town Wyoming isn't ready for the likes of us. I got more looks from people in that one Albertson's trip than I get in a whole week down here. (Well, unless we go on campus, which we did today and that is another post in its self)

And the "you've got your hands full" comment. Is that not the single dumbest comment EVAR? Is that code for "Holy crap woman, control your off spring"? Or is it more like "You poor thing, don't you know what causes that?"? The last time it was all sweet and fuzzy feeling was when K was just a babe and some nice old man said it as we both observed B as he busily waved and said "Hi!" to everyone we passed.

And I just got another Freecycle find! Some nice lady is giving away a whole bunch of sewing thread and notions. Since my grandmother gave me my inheritance in fabric during my visit, this will come in quite handy. Here is my response to her:
"Oh yeahy! I have a class tomorrow at the college from 9:30 to 10:45, I park in the south lot (across from JC Penny strip mall) and I could meet you there either before or after class? I'll be driving the biggest old hoopty ford bronco you've ever seen in your whole life. LOL It's brown and white and has no back window...you CAN'T miss it (unfortunately). If that doesn't work for you, let me know!"

How's that for a description? I really need to post a picture of this charming turd sometime. It is my turn to drive the turd. Now that D is back, Hubster and I are back down to one car and the turd between us. Why not hi-jack D's car you ask? Well, quite frankly, I'm somewhat lazy and I'm pretty much traumatized by all the dropping off and picking up I did over the years and seeing as how after school activities are notorious for saying they will be ending at one time and then not ACTUALLY ending until another time, (usually far, far later than the original time) and waiting with J in a car is enough to make Mother Teresa slit her wrists....well, I'll drive the turd.

Speak Texan Yank

Just TRY to purchase a MACROeconomics book from a Texan. Go ahead. I dare you.

(Ya'll will be directed to take yer buggy back to Ramon but hurry cause he's fixin' to go to lunch over yonder and even after all that they will hand you a MICROeconomics book..several times...until you spell it.)

Last week they pulled all the Government books off the shelf. When I called to inquire as to why they would change books the week before class starts, I was told that the instructor had pulled the books because they weren't the Texas edition. I'm thinking my interaction today explains a lot. It would make sense to have the books in a language the students can understand. I won't be giving mine back. The Yankee version suits me fine.

Surfs Up, Dude?

After a summer of slacking and a quick trip to see the folks...oh who am I kidding? I am a sucky housekeeper. If you are silly enough to eat off my floors, you deserve whatever disease you get. Oh, I'm real good at at baseboards, those are always clean. Ceiling fans too. And my own personal bathroom is usually in pretty good shape. But all bets are off when it comes to everything else. Flylady rocks. But I've been off the Flylady wagon lately. So I decided that the kids could help me clean the kitchen floor. And we weren't Swiffering this time, no, we were going to give it a good old fashion scrub down. K informed me that she loves scrubbing floors because she pretends she is Cinderella. Having already earned my wicked step-mother stripes, I knew exactly what to do. I got them started with a bucket of soapy water and some rags then ran in to buy a textbook I need for class. The last time I checked they were down to their skivvies sliding around on about an inch of water that is completely covering my kitchen tile. It's like an indoor Slip-an-Slide in there. And you know what? I really don't care. The floor will probably be very clean after that much water and soap. Wanna come eat off my floor tonight?

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Reasons to Smile

The heavens opened up and Mamasita descended in the form of an angel...a well connected angel. Her cousin works for a plant that rebuilds air conditioners!!! Let there be AIR!!! Whoot! Given that the last few days have been beyond muggy and HOT, the children and I are overjoyed!

And here is today's funny things kids say, courtesy of little almost gonna be three J.

J: I wanna wotch Wion King, eese?
Me: OK, go turn on the TV and let it warm up and I'll put it on for you
J (a few minutes later): I wotch penguin show better mom
Me: Why do you want to watch that nasty thing?
J: Oh, my wife bettor I wotch dis.
Me: Your life will be better if you watch the Penguin show?
J (sighing): Yeah.

Someone really should *do* something about those public broadcasting service folks. KERA is turning my kid into a drama queen.

I Hate Life With No Internet

Note to self: Don't forget to pay the cable bill. They shut it off right quick and in a hurry but it takes them 2 WEEKS (!!!!!) to turn it back on.

What happened during all this non-internet no-mans-land you ask?

Well, I stayed up half the night and watched Harry Potter the night it came out.

I read all four "Thousand Year" books by Skousen.

I read Harry Potter 7.

I canned two more trees worth of peaches.

I taught my neighbor how to can.

B broke his arm jumping out of a swing. (Not badly, just a taurus fracture)

Ethyl moved to Idaho. I may never recover.

What did not happen during this two weeks of non-interneted-ness?

My house did not get clean.

My kids did not read more. Apparently two or so hours a day is their limit no matter how bored they are.

My yard did not get all spiffy looking.

I did not die. It was touch and go there for a while, but I think I'm going to pull through.

Another Fun Filled Trip to the Library

It's been a while since I blogged a library trip. Here's how today went down:

Step 1, find library books. Gripe at kids until they find that last, stray book that was hiding in plain sight.

Step 2, climb in car that could be used to sear meat.

Step 3, realize I haven't filled out the book club forms correctly, roll down windows and tell kids to start coloring.

Step 4, speed down side roads to keep the breeze coming in. Air movement=good. Stop signs=bad.

Step 5, arrive at library and take kids and forms to information desk to redeem their reading progress for prizes.

Step 6, enforce strict limit of five books because the children, they just want to take one of everything home.

Step 7, shout/whisper at children to maintain the calm, quiet demeanor expected of library patrons.

Step 8, repeat step 7 ad nauseum.

Step 9, hide pool passes earned from reading books because mommy, she has issues with the public pool.

Step 10, witness B recognize his friends and excitedly rush to greet them.

Step 11, witness slightly older boy watch B do this and proceed to make fun of him.

Step 12, stare down older boy and shoot daggers out of my eyes while being grateful that my child, while loud and somewhat overly exuberant, is still innocent enough that he shows excitement over seeing his friends, (and that he didn't notice the older boy mocking him).

Step 13, head for check out desk. Notice new librarian lady and nearly die of shock when I notice the actual SMILE on her face.

Step 14, strike up conversation with nice new librarian lady and engage in small talk.

Step 15, watch smile on new librarian lady's fade as she announces $16 and .75 in fines.

Step 16, explain that I had called to renew books, and brought them back a day early even!

Step 17, watch new librarian lady be replaced by stern librarian lady to sort out renewal mess.

Step 18, repeat step 7 some more since step 13 is taking so long.

Step 19, repeat step 16 for next, even more stern, librarian lady.

Step 20, repeat step 7 some more

Step 21, receive stern lecture from stern library lady that I might check and make sure that I call on or before the due date to renew.

Step 22, explain that while my children and I may look like chaos, I do in fact, keep track of my library due dates and even have a special place for my receipt here, in my purse....see? Right here?

Step 23, exchange blank stare with stern librarian lady.

Step 24, wave to new librarian lady on way to door.

Step 25, Watch dream of having chatty conversation with new librarian lady go up in smoke.

Step 26, Pile bored kids into hot, sweaty car.

Step 27, Bribe them with free hamburgers earned from reading.

Step 28, wonder WHY they call it "fast" food, when in fact it is neither fast, nor food.

Step 29, Listen to kids whine and moan and complain about the unbearable heat and the "wind up my hair" all.the.way.home.

Step 30, listen to kids fight over who carries books in from the car.

Step 31, listen to K scream at her brother because she dropped her hamburger.

Step 32, collapse into heap from the heat stroke and stress and secretly wish the library delivered.

Growing Up Too Fast

K decided she wanted her hair cut short. So she went from this:



To this:



And now I want to paste it all back on because she looks so big.

*sniff*

You Looking For ME?

I don't suppose it's any secret that I get a kick out of seeing the searches people run and find my site...most of the time. I did find one that disturbed me very much and I have made changes to my wording so that particular phrase won't "find me" anymore.

But in the spirit of answering those who seek, here are some of the phrases and my response to them:

"how to know if transmission in my van is busted": If it won't go forward or jerks violently before going forward and sounds like an egg beater is loose under your floorboards, pony up the bucks cause you're toast.

"Step-kids driving me crazy": They all do it at some point so join the crowd sister. I'm toying with the idea of a blog dedicated to my step-parenting adventures. Surely someone should profit from my trial by fire considerable experience. I'm still sorting out what stuff is kid stuff and what stuff is step-kid stuff, but I think I'm going to live through the experience so maybe someone will be interested in my advice.

"Older stepchildren driving a wedge": Take their balls away, or tell your husband to grow some. Someone has to decide who's in charge and as much as you don't want to hear it, you aren't in the best position to gain control over the situation. 75% of second marriages fail. If you want it to last, you'd better hope you married someone with the intestinal fortitude to overcome "divorce guilt" and be willing to stand his ground with the children.

"guilt thinking about leaving husband": If you've got a kid, you'd better feel guilty. If he's not beating on you, then you have an obligation to make it work. If he isn't willing to work on being a decent person, guess what? Leaving him isn't going to make him be a decent person and you'll have NO control over what he does with your kids during his visits. Don't kid yourself. He is going to get visitation. You do not get to go off and make a new life with a new husband unfettered by the baggage you've created with the old one. Weekly visitation STINKS for everyone involved and anyone who tells you staying together for the kids isn't a good reason to stay together is only telling you what you want to hear or justifying actions they themselves have taken. Responsible parents find a way to get their act together and they SACRIFICE their own wants for the needs of their children. Period. If you don't have kids and you are miserable, admit you made a mistake and get out while you can.

And Finally:

"How to acknowledge step-mother on wedding invitations and program": It's actually very simple and not at at all uncommon in this day and age. You put Bride's parents: dad and step-mom, mom and step-dad, then grooms parents: Dad and step-mom, then mom and step-dad. If someone hasn't re-married, they should be listed individually. You may end up with four couple's names on the invites in addition to the bride and groom, and you may or may not even LIKE the step-parents in question, but take my advice: your wedding is your special day, not an opportunity to grind axes on strained familial relationships. You're smart to ask...there are probably other ways to put them on there, but the important thing is that you DO acknowledge them, and not just in the fine print, unreadable with the naked eye. Weddings are ripe with opportunity to hurt people's feelings. In order to have a peaceful day, do everything you can to make sure you are sensitive to your parent's new partner(s). Mom and Dad love you, but they also love the person they've chosen to marry. Photo shoots and wedding dances and seating arrangements are other area's you should pre-plan very carefully to avoid hurt feelings. I know it can feel like you aren't able to please anyone, but if you make a concerted effort to avoid hurt feelings it will be appreciated by everyone involved. I hope that your family and step-family can be as mature and understanding about your arrangements as you are, if they aren't, take the high road, do what you can and don't worry about the rest.

And yes, these really were word for word google and yahoo searches that directed people to my site, not just another opportunity for me to gripe about my daughter-in-law and her mother ripping my heart out of my chest and smashing it on the ground.

Ahem.

I think I really am going to start that step-parenting blog. I just love giving out unsolicited advice, at least no one can slap me over the internet.

Rain Pause

The rain paused yesterday just long enough for the kids to play outside for a bit. If you need a cheap thrill for summer entertainment of the small person kind, make sidewalk paint by mixing equal parts of cornstarch and water, then adding food coloring. My kids used the brushes for about 30 seconds, then they just...well...acted like my children and got stuff all over:















Looking at that blue sky you'd never guess we're about to drown down here. Maybe I'll post pictures of us pulling out the Bronco, which is stuck. to the axles. in mud. in the front yard. Whee. LOL.

We Be Jammin'

Peach season is here again! Somehow, my trees never manage to produce, but I have an abundance of friends with a whole lotta fruit and not much time.

We started with plums from Taxi Mom's neighbor's tree:



This is about a third of what we started with.

Then Mamasita's peach tree ripened so I spent the last couple days processing these:



Aren't they just so pretty with their peachy-fuzziness?

Here's some of what we've put up this year. (Check out B in the background! LOL)



The family favorite is the Spiced Peach Blueberry. It's divine on a piece of homemade wheat bread. I have one more batch from Mamasita's tree that is still ripening, but I think I'll be forced to make a cobbler with that. Taxi Mom and Ethyl's tree's are just about ready and Ethyl has some grapes that should be ready soon after. We've discovered that pooling our time and resources makes canning a lot of fun. Yes, we live on the edge out here in Momville.