Neighborhood Smack Down '08

I know you love hearing about my hood. A lot. All them pesky durn neighbors, and me, right there, in the center of their universe.

So today I come home and notice a piece of paper on the windshield of The Turd . Thinking that the kids were playing some kind of game I figured I'd get it off the windshield before the wind blew it to Louisiana. I opened it, and it said:

"Thanksgiving was over two months ago, lose the flag! Sincerely, The Yard Fairies"

I'd tell you what I said, but this is a family blog.

Oh wait. My kids will probably make sure everyone knows that mommy said a naughty word (or two, but who's counting?) by sundown, so I'll at least tell you that I wrote on that note in big letters with a permanent red marker. Something about kissing certain parts of my anatomy and staying off my property, and then I taped it to the windshield. And then I felt so mature. As you can tell, I'm the calm, cool, collected one in my family.

After a while I cooled off a little bit and since it is Sunday and I'm all tanked up from church, I decided to set a little better example for my fellow man.

So I broke the Sabbath and bought a great big poster-board.

Then I employed the cheerleader sign making skillz of D, and let me tell you, it was worth every penny of that $5,437.63 we've spent on cheerleading in the last four years.

There is now a great big sign in my yard that reads:


"Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself. ~Love, The Family of All Trades"

It's as much a reminder for me as it is for them.

And by the way, the flag in question is one of those decorative flags. It happens to say "Welcome", it also happens to have sunflowers and pumpkins on it, it "feels like" summer-late fall. But because I don't "feel like" Texas has winter, and because it's not quite spring, and because my neighbors are jacking with me, I'm keeping it up. Until it disintegrates into dust. I swear Dad, Shoe polish is next. Amen.