Saturday, November 11, 2006

Me: I want to build the receptionist desk.
Him: Sounds good.

A week passes, we now need the desk.

Him: Dad wants to go look for a reception desk.
Me: I thought I was building it.
Him: Me too. But he says it would be easier.
Me: Easier and a whole lot more expensive.
Him: You never know.
Under my breath: *yes I do. I always know.*

Next day:

Him: I called a place and we can rent a desk.
Me: Sounds expensive.
Him: No, they'll practically give it to us and fly us to Tahiti as an added incentive.
OK, no he didn't really say that last part.
Him: They are having a huge sale this weekend, we're going.
Me: I want to build the desk.
Him: Dad will be here at 8 am.
Me: Great, he can take us to Home Depot.
Him: Scowl.

8 am:
Him: Ah, yes, here it is.
Me: Great. And only two hours of driving to find it.
Him: The sale is around back in the warehouse.
Me: Why is that big black man shouting at that little round guy? And why are all those people standing around them?
Him: (on the phone with his dad) You might want to slip your pistol in your pocket before you come in....
Me: Um. I don't see any office furniture.
Him: I'll ask the manager.
Me: I'll just stand over here and try to stay out of the line of fire.
Him: More scowling

10 am:
Him: Well, they don't have a receptionist desk.
Me: Great. I want to build it.
Him: We'll go buy the other stuff we need.

After having gone to three more stores, FIL says to buy the desk at store number 2, Hubster says $400 for particle board is a no-go, he decides to buy a cheapo one from the store he went to earlier in the week. Cost: $189.00 plus tax.
Me: I hate that desk. I want to build a desk. I can build what I want for less.
Him: I need it by Monday. Less work this way. You can built what you want later.
Me: Less work for WHOM?
Him: More scowling

1 pm:
Salesclerk: I'm sorry sir, I'd have to order that, I sold the last one yesterday.
Me: Great. I want to build the desk.
Him: OK, we'll go to Home Depot. But I want to make it out of paneling.
Me: Paneling is going to be more expensive.
Him: Well, we'll just go see.

2 pm:
In Home Depot, mind you, I built the last desk. I designed the space for this desk, I've been thinking about what I need for 2 weeks now. The plan is to build an "L" shaped wall that has a 6' section and a 4' section, is 4' tall, with a 6' counter top as a work space, and a 6" wide ledge around the top to be used as a writing surface. Short file cabinets fit underneath. People can't lean over, the side wall prevents prying eyes from peering in from the waiting room. Simple. Brilliant. Cheap.

Him: We could put that over the front, that would be fast.
Me: That's hardwood flooring. I guess it could work, but you'd still have to attach it to something.
Him: OK, well, how about this paneling?
Me: I want drywall. It will cost half.
Him: Well, how about the counter top? We need a four foot counter top.
Me: No, we need a six foot counter top.
Him: What about the four foot section of the wall?
Me: No counter top there.
Him: Why?
Me: It would take up too much space.
Him: Well, what about the writing surface part? I want to go look at the shelving to see if there is something laminated so the writing surface is smooth. Plus, it will be fast.
Me: We can look. We used oak last time. Holy cow. That stuff is expensive. We'll go with oak.
Him: Well we only need four feet.
Me: No, we need a little over 10 feet.
Him: Only for the short section, not for the short wall!
Me: What short wall?
Him: Where the counter goes.
Me: That's not going to be short.
Him: Why not? It would be faster.
Me: Because it's not.
Him: Well we don't have to put it on the whole thing.
Me: How else are you going to finish it?
Him: Blank stare.

Much stepping off and speaking with the hands ensues. Animated explanation was presented by both sides. An understanding of the vision is reached.

Me: OK, so we need four sheets of dry wall, three for sure, but four to be safe.
Him: We only need two.
Me: NO, WE NEED THREEEEEE AT LEAST....*spoken v-e-r-y slowly*
Me: There's TWO sides to the wall....
Him: But you only need to finish one side, it will be faster.
Me: And you are going to have 2X4's on the desk side? BUY FOUR.
Him: OK, how much oak.
Me: Two peices
Him: I thought we only needed four feet.
Me: I'm going to kill you now.

5:30 pm:
Delivery of needed supplies to office. Included:
4 sheets of drywall
2 pieces of oak
8 2X4's
1 2X2
1 six foot counter top
1 bucket of joint compound
2 peices of bowl nose
Framing screws and Drywall screws.
Total cost: $182.00 with tax, and I bought a new tape measure to boot.

Basically, if left alone, I would have built the desk, painted the desk, and moved my crap into the desk in the time it took to help two grown men decide to listen to me.

I didn't yell once. And they call US the weaker sex.


Nettie said...

And I thought it was the parenting that gave us women so much patience!

And kudos to you for knowing how to BUILD!

bon said...

Duse, I would been yelling by then. Yelling AND swearing the small swears.

bon said...

Ummm... I mean DUDE.

Dooce I ain't.